We are social animals who thrive on being validated by others, so it makes sense that our brains are programmed to care deeply about what people think of us. Without this need for connection, we would not be able to survive as a species
We learn, from a young age, that it’s important to get along with people so we can belong. We crave acceptance from our peers—and this desire can drive us to do all sorts of things in order to appear more attractive or acceptable. This is why it’s not so easy to stop caring what people think of us especially when we are trying to fit in within our community.
Now it’s not a bad thing to want to feel accepted, the problem comes when you let others define who you are and don’t believe in yourself and your abilities. But Our self-worth should not depend on whether or not others approve of our actions or beliefs. We are all unique individuals, which means that there is no one right way to be.
Instead of trying to fit into society’s narrow definition of what it means to be normal, you should focus on what matters, and what makes you happy so you stop comparing yourself to other people.
Your worth as a person does not depend on whether or not your actions are accepted by others; instead, it depends on how you treat yourself and others. There is nothing wrong with wanting other people to like you, but if your desire for acceptance starts damaging your self-esteem or creating anxiety and depression, Then
It may be time for you to take a closer look at why getting approval from others is so important.
4 reasons why you're seeking approval from others
So why do we seek approval from others? What do we believe is at stake if they don’t approve of us?
Is it that we think that being accepted will make us feel worthy, loved, or important? Or maybe it’s because we’re afraid that our actions will cause others to reject and criticize us.
There are many reasons why someone seeks out approval, but I personally believe there are 4 main reasons why:
1. Fear of being judge
The fear of being judged is one of the most common reasons why we seek approval from others. We all know what it’s like to be criticized, judged or rejected by others. It hurts and can leave us feeling sad, angry and frustrated. Because of this, we may try to avoid these feelings by doing things that will make other people approve of us.
We think that if we do what others want us to do, they won’t judge or criticize us. So we try really hard to please people and make them happy. We focus on things that will bring us approval and don’t focus on what matters which is doing what is best for ourselves.
2. feel the need to impress others
We, as a species, have an overwhelming desire to feel that we belong and are accepted by others. We want people to like us and think we’re smart, funny or interesting—at the very least not bad people!
This is why it’s so hard to stop caring what people think of us and feel the need to impress us, no matter how hard we try not to. But when we focus on impressing others instead of doing what’s right for ourselves, we end up feeling like failures. We feel guilty about not being good enough for other people or doing things that make them happy even though it doesn’t make us happy at all.
So be happy be yourself and stop trying to impress everyone.
3. seeking validation
We want to be accepted and validated by other people, no matter what we do. This is why so many of us feel like failures when we don’t get the validation that we need. We feel as though no one likes us or cares about our opinions, even though this isn’t true at all! I
When you become occupied seeking validation from others, you will become distracted and not focus on what matters most which is whether are you proud of yourself.
By constantly looking for approval from others you will end up spending so much time trying to make other people happy that you don’t have any energy or attention left over for your own needs
4. the need to fit in
The fourth reason we care what people think is because we desire to fit in with society. We want to be part of a group, and we want to be accepted by others. We want to belong. As humans, we are wired for this kind of social interaction — it’s one of our most basic needs as human beings.
Fitting in with society means that you have good relationships with your friends and family; you have a job or career path that makes you feel fulfilled; and you occupy a place within society at large where you feel comfortable and accepted. There is nothing wrong with that.
However, if we put too much focus on trying to fit in with society, then we may lose track of our true selves. We may forget what it is that we want and need. We may lose sight of our goals in life. And when this happens, we can become unhappy because we feel like something is missing in our life. In order to be happy be yourself and focus on what matters to you.
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living our lives by the expectations of others instead of by our own values and standards, we will end up feeling like we are living a lie.
We may feel that our life is not what it should be and that there must be more to life than this. The catch-22 is that trying to fit in with others can actually make us feel less connected and more isolated from those around us.
This is why you should focus on what matters, which is your own needs, and ambitions in life.
So that leaves the question, How do we stop caring what people think about us
7 ways to stop caring what people think
We all want to live a life that feels authentic, where we can be our full selves without fear of judgment or being misunderstood. But sometimes it can feel like one of the biggest barriers to doing so is caring too much about what other people think of us!
What if you could learn to stop caring about what people think? And what if you could do it in a way that felt good, rather than making you feel more anxious or depressed?
Below are the 7 easy ways to stop caring what people think about you.
1. Don't listen to the opinions of others
Here’s the thing: you don’t have to worry about what other people’s opinions are of you. Since you can’t control how someone feels about you and trying to do so will waste your time and energy.
Although you can learn to accept the opinions of others without being significantly influenced by them, an insult or negative comment is always hard to ignore. sometimes others’ words will cut deep into your heart and make you feel bad about yourself or your goals. But you have the power to decide whether or not you’re going to let the opinion of someone else affect your life.
If someone says something mean about you, don’t take it personally, because chances are they’re just projecting their own insecurities onto you. Instead, believe in yourself and your goals. Know that you’re capable of achieving whatever you want, no matter what anyone else says.
Sometimes in life, we have people who will deliberately try and control us, and they do this by gaslighting us or controlling us in other ways. You protect yourself by recognizing 7 Hidden Signs Of Manipulative Behaviours
2. Embrace who you are
One of the best ways to stop caring what people think is to become comfortable in your own skin. When you embrace who you are, it’s easier to stop worrying about what others think and just be yourself.
So how can you embrace who you are? It all starts with self-acceptance. When you’re self-accepting, you’re able to accept both the good and the bad in yourself and focus on what makes you happy. You don’t need to pretend that things are better than they are or try to hide your flaws from everyone else.
This doesn’t mean that you should stop trying to improve yourself, but it does mean that you shouldn’t let the opinions of others hold you back from working toward who you want to be.
3. Build up your confidence
One thing you’ll hear a lot about confidence is that it’s something you’re born with. And while this is partially true, it also isn’t. Confidence can be learned and perfected through experience and practice—just like any skill.
Confidence is not the same thing as self-esteem; it’s not about liking yourself or thinking highly of yourself either. Confidence comes from believing in your own ability to succeed in something, regardless of what anyone else thinks about it.
Just because you believe in yourself does not mean you are arrogant or egotistical—it’s just the knowledge that you are capable of doing something well if you try hard enough at it (and yes, even if that means you fail a few times).
To build confidence in yourself:
- Think back over your life experiences and think about where you succeeded at something before
- Think about all the times when someone told you that you couldn’t do something—and then I proved them wrong by doing exactly what they said was impossible!
- Think about all the times in your life when you were scared to try something new, but you did it anyway and succeeded at it.
Now think about what those situations have in common.
- What made those situations different from other times when maybe things didn’t go so well?
- What skills and abilities helped those successes happen?
- How many times did you fail before your success at your goal
When you are able to look back on your life and realize everything you have accomplished or even attempted to accomplish, it puts things in perspective that you are actually capable of more than you think.
Related: Do You Have A Victim Mentality? 7 Ways To Overcome Self-Victimization
Seeing yourself in a positive light and being able to believe in yourself is the best way to feel confident in who you are.
4. Focus on your happiness
It might sound obvious, but one of the best ways to stop caring what people think about you is to focus on yourself. When you are happy with who you are and what makes you happy, it’s easier to be confident in your decisions.
To make this happen, here is a quick list of things that will help you tap into your happiness
- Spend time with people who make you happy and support you
- Do things that make you feel good about yourself (exercising, cooking healthy meals, etc)
- Try new things that are challenging but not scary (like learning to dance or playing an instrument)
- Take care of your health so you’re physically fit and energetic
- Create a self-care routine, and spend a little time each day taking care of yourself
There are many ways to achieve happiness, but learning to be comfortable in your own body and discovering what makes you happy is the most important part. So find something that you can do to make yourself happy and go after it.
5. Focus on what matters
Most of us spend time thinking about what we don’t want to project onto the world and worrying that if we don’t achieve a certain status in life or act a certain way, other people will judge us because of it.
Over time this can become exhausting and even prevent someone from focusing on what’s important in their life—such as their goals, passions, and happiness.
When someone judges you for how you look, how much money you make or any other aspect of your life, it’s a waste of energy to try to live up to someone else person’s opinion of you.
Instead, believe in yourself and focus your energy on what you want to achieve and how you can make it happen in your life. If someone judges you for not living up to their expectations, don’t get caught up in the negative energy of this interaction. Don’t get upset, just take a moment to reflect on why they might feel that way about you—and then decide if it’s important for your relationship to address the issue or not.
But whatever you do, don’t let others define you—you’re the only one who can do that. If your identity is tied up with what other people think of you and how they judge your actions, it will be difficult for you to focus on what matters to you and what you want you to want to achieve for yourself.
6. Surround yourself with positive people
Surrounding yourself with positive people can be a great way to start feeling free from the opinions of others. If you spend your time around negative people, you will start to feel like you got something to prove to them.
Related: 13 Effective Ways to Protect Your Energy From Negative People
Negative people, who tend to be selfish and self-centered, want you to live up to their standards so that they can feel better about themselves. Instead, surround yourself with individuals who support you and encourage your unique qualities
Types of people you want in your life
- Open: They are not afraid to say what they think, and will always be truthful about their opinions.
- Kind: They are caring and compassionate, willing to help others before they think of themselves.
- Humble: They do not feel the need to brag about their accomplishments or put others down.
- Strong: They have the ability to persevere through difficult situations.
- Forgiving: Positive people don’t hold grudges, and they don’t find it necessary to bring up past events that may have hurt your feelings or pride.
- Helpful: If someone asks for help then positive people will give it without hesitation even if it means going out of their way
- Encouraging: Positive people are usually optimistic about every situation because they believe that there is always hope
Most important is that they are rarely negative and they don’t complain or feel the need to gossip about others.
Related: Quality over Quantity. The 9 Types of Friendships All Women Should Have
7. Don't assume what others are thinking
Don’t assume you know what other people are thinking.
I’m sure you’ve heard the saying: “Don’t judge a book by its cover.” Well, that phrase can also be applied to human beings. Just because someone looks at you funny doesn’t mean they’re judging you or thinking negative things about you. They may just have something else don’t heir mind!
It’s so easy to get caught up in the idea that other people are judging and criticizing everything about us. It is understandable—when we judge or criticize ourselves, it is natural to jump to the conclusion that others must be feeling the same way towards us. This is why it is important to work on your confidence and self-worth so you don’t project your insecurities onto other people.
So, next time you’re feeling insecure or unsure of yourself around people, take a deep breath and remind yourself that everyone else is probably thinking about something else entirely. Don’t let your mind wander into the realm of “what ifs” and “what they think.” Instead, focus on what matters, the present moment, and enjoy yourself.
Be happy be yourself
The most important thing you can do is to focus on your own life, not other people’s lives. You can only control yourself, so it makes sense to spend your time and energy to focus on what matters to you.
When you are worrying about what other people think of you, it is a sign that things are not as they should be in your own life; perhaps there is something missing. If this is the case then instead of worrying about what others think, try focusing on building a better version of yourself – one that does not need validation from others.
