Psychological manipulation is considered a form of emotional abuse by many, as it involves aggressive influencing tactics and deception. The manipulator deliberately creates an imbalance of power in order to exploit the victim for his or her own agenda
Be cautious of people who use manipulative behaviours to control others. They employ a variety of interpersonal strategies—from verbal abuse, devious lies, threats, and even the silent treatment
These interpersonal strategies are used by a manipulative person to:
- Control another person’s thoughts, feelings, and actions.
- Deceive others into believing something that isn’t true.
- Get their own way, regardless of the cost to others.
- Create an imbalance of power between themselves and their victim(s)
- Exploit victims’ emotions ( fear, guilt) and weaknesses ( insecurities) for their own gain
Characteristics of a manipulative person
Psychological manipulation is a form of abuse that may be just as harmful as physical abuse. It occurs when one person uses mind games, coercion, or threats to control another person’s thinking and behavior. This can make it difficult for people who are a victim of manipulation to identify the source of their discomfort, leaving them feeling confused and alone.
The most common form of emotional manipulation is gaslighting. Gaslighting is a form of mental abuse in which someone tries to convince you that your feelings, thoughts, or experiences are wrong. It can be particularly damaging because it causes you to question your own sanity—and therefore lose confidence in yourself and your emotions.
READ MORE The 10 Signs of Gaslighting: Protect Yourself Against This Narcissist Behavior
Gaslighting is just one of many ways that a manipulative person will exert control over their victims. Other methods include:
- Having no moral boundaries. Manipulators feel justified in doing whatever it takes to achieve their goals, and they don’t care who gets hurt as a result.
- Feeling no shame in lying. Manipulators can lie without a hint of guilt, making it difficult to detect deception.
- Using aggressive influencing tactics that include intimidation, threats, coercion, and emotional abuse to control people around them and get what they want.
- Manipulating people’s perceptions of reality, making it seem like their version of events is the only one that matters.
- Being selfish, egocentric, and narcissistic. They see other people as pawns to be manipulated for their own gain.
Acting sweet and charming, but it’s only an act. They make you feel like they care about you when in reality they’re out to get something from you.
Are you a Victim of someone's manipulative behaviours?
Emotional manipulation can be difficult to spot at first, but there are 4 common sign of manipulation that determine if you have been a victim of psychological abuse.
1. You feel like you’re walking on eggshells.
You’re always worried that the person will get upset or angry at you for things you say, so to avoid confrontation and maintain harmony in the relationship, you’ve learned not to express yourself freely.
2. You’re confused over their emotions.
a Manipulative person may seem to be constantly angry, upset, or hurt about something you did, but you don’t know what you’ve done to cause this reaction. But no matter how much effort you make or what steps you take, they will always seem dissatisfied.
3. You are constantly being blamed
It’s not uncommon for a person who is emotionally manipulating you to refuse to take responsibility for their actions. They may blame you for the way they feel, and make up excuses as to why they can’t do what you want them to do. They’ll even tell you that it’s your fault that they’re so stressed out or angry all the time.
4. You are afraid to ask questions
If you are afraid to ask questions or voice your concerns because you know that the other person will get angry with you, this is a sign of emotional manipulation. People who care about others and want them to be happy will not punish them for asking for more information or clarification on something.
Emotional manipulation is about power and control. It’s a tactic used by abusers to keep their victims feeling weak and confused. If you recognize the signs of emotional manipulation in your relationship, then you can take action to escape from this toxic situation before it causes you serious emotional damage
7 signs of a manipulative person
Psychological manipulation is a form of abuse that can be difficult to recognize, especially if you’ve been subjected to it for a long time. Abusers use a variety of tactics to control their victims, including making them feel guilty and ashamed or even believing that they are crazy—this can cause tremendous self-doubt in the person being abused.
You may not realize that you are being emotionally manipulated at first, because the abuser’s behavior often becomes more extreme over time. So it is important to look out for the following warning signs and these types of manipulation
1. Guilt Trips
Guilt tripping is a manipulative technique that exploits another person’s emotions to achieve personal gain. This behavior often stems from low self-esteem or confidence in one’s own abilities, and it can be a way of making up for other inadequacies.
The goal of guilt tripping is to make someone feel guilty so they’ll give up their personal needs and wants to accommodate someone else’s needs and wants. The manipulator may start off by doing a small favor or being nice to you, but then they’ll turn around and ask for something much bigger in return. They may tell you that it’s not fair that they did so much for you and now you’re not doing anything for them.
If you refuse to give in to their demands, they’ll accuse you of being selfish or ungrateful. This is a classic technique used by manipulators to get what they want.
You should never feel guilty for saying no to something that is not right for you. READ MORE on how to stop feeling guilty for putting yourself first
2. Plays the victim
The victim’s role is a classic maneuver employed by manipulators. They use others’ sympathy to manipulate them into doing whatever they want.
However, if you don’t give in to their demands when they play the victim they will accuse you of being uncaring or cold and make you feel like a bad person for not helping them. This can be a very effective manipulation technique because most people simply don’t like to think that someone is suffering because of them.
If someone plays on your sympathy by playing the victim, it’s important not to let them manipulate you into doing something for them that isn’t in your best interest.
There are many signs to look out for someone with a victimhood mentality, in my article Do You Have A Victim Mentality? 7 Ways To Overcome Self-Victimization
3. Gaslighting People
Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that can happen in romantic relationships, friendships, and families. It’s characterized by the manipulator asserting their own version of reality over the victim’s and attempting to make them doubt themselves.
If you’ve ever been with someone who constantly denied things you knew was true or made it seem like you were imagining things, then you may have been gaslighted.
This abuse can be subtle at first, but it becomes more obvious over time as the abuser gains control over a person’s behavior and thoughts. When gaslighting occurs, it is usually because the victim has begun to build a life that makes him or her independent of the abuser—which threatens their sense of control and dominance.
In response, they try to regain power by destroying others’ perceptions of reality, by continually lying or denying facts until the victim believes they are true.
4. Uses threats
Threats of physical or emotional harm are a way for an abuser to maintain control over their victim. Whether they are serious threats or empty ones made simply as a scare tactic, these words can leave lasting marks on the mind and body of anyone who hears them
Threats can be implied or direct, and are often used to manipulate others into doing what the threatener wants.
- Implied threats: These don’t have to be explicitly stated but imply something negative will happen if the person does not comply with their wishes.
- Direct threats: These may be explicit and stated outright as a means of intimidation so the targeted individual will think twice about disobeying them.
A person threatened by a manipulator may feel guilty, anxious, or fearful enough to comply with the threatener’s demands—even if doing so is against their best interests. This can cause serious long-term emotional damage for anyone subjected to manipulation on a regular basis.
5. Chronic Liying
A manipulative person will often lie to get what they want. They may tell what they consider a harmless lie if it suits their needs or an outright fabrication when the truth would make them look bad.
There are a variety of reasons someone uses lying as a way to manipulate others, including
- Avoiding taking responsibility for their actions,
- Making them seem more credible or desirable than they really are
- Giving them more power and control over other people.
- Making themselves look better than they really are.
This type of psychological manipulation can be damaging because it causes the victim to believe that no one around them is trustworthy. This can have a negative impact on their relationships and their life in general.
6. Withholds attention or affection
Withholding attention or affection is a common form of manipulative behaviours, since it can cause the person to feel dependent on the abuser for positive reinforcement by making them feel as though they need them to feel complete and valued.
Signs someone is withholding affection may include:
- They rarely initiate physical touch. This can be anything from a hug to a kiss on the cheek or forehead.
- They are often quick to anger, especially when it comes to the person they’re abusing.
- They seem cold and distant even though they may still tell you that they love you.
- They might not show up when they say they will, but instead, send flimsy text messages as an excuse or reason why they cannot come see you
- They threaten to withhold affection or not see you if you don’t do as they ask
This type of tactic is commonly used when the manipulator tries to isolate the person from other people since it causes the victim to feel as though they are worthless without the abuser.
7. Uses blackmail
Blackmailing is a form of emotional abuse that involves using threats to obtain something from another person. It can take many forms, such as
- Threatening to reveal information about someone that they would prefer to keep private
- Threatening to hurt someone emotionally or physically
- Threatening to take legal action without any intention of going through with it
Blackmailing can be difficult for victims to deal with because it often involves an element of fear. However,
there are steps you can take in order to protect yourself and keep yourself out of this situation:
- Avoid situations where you might expose your vulnerabilities
- Keep all personal information secure (including passwords)
- Look out for people who seem suspiciously interested in what you’re doing or saying
- Be cautious about what information to tell people
If you’re being blackmailed, understand that it’s not your fault. There are people out there who prey on others’ weaknesses and vulnerabilities—and sometimes these people are close to us.
Youtube video: psychotherapist on how to end manipulation
Takeaway
Emotional manipulation is a powerful tool that can be used to control and hurt others. A manipulator will use various tactics—like guilt trips and playing the victim to influence someone into feeling how they want people to feel. The goal of these tactics is usually some form of gain for themselves
If someone is emotionally manipulating you, they’re trying to control your thoughts and feelings by getting inside your head. In some cases, this can make it feel like there’s no escape from their behavior because they’ve made it impossible for you not to do what they want, may it be out of fear or guilt.
Remember that manipulation is not a sign of weakness on your part. It’s a sign of weakness and insecurity on the part of the manipulator. Don’t let someone else’s insecurities make you feel insecure in turn, You’re strong and smart, and you deserve better than this kind of nonsense!
